no one really cares
033. and the question that changed it all for me.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Bernard M. Baruch
Think about how much time you spend focusing on someone else’s life. How often are you genuinely worrying about what someone else is doing? How often do you question someone else’s life?
Maybe you don’t do it that often, but in my view, it’s such a waste of time. How do I know it’s a waste? Because I used to do the same thing—constantly chasing what others were doing, whether online or in my own circle. Thoughts like, “What will XYZ think if I do X?” would run through my mind as I sought validation. Comparing myself to others became second nature, and I’m sure we’re all guilty of it from time to time.
I was going to say that as I get older, my views have shifted, but honestly, these changes come not just with time but by exposing yourself to different experiences. One of the biggest shifts for me has been through travel—especially in my early 20s (though I imagine the same applies when you hit 30, 40, or beyond).
Traveling has taught me to discover what I love and what I don’t like, and it's done so quickly. Through countless conversations with people I’ve met along the way—many of whom were just passing acquaintances—it became clear: no one really cares what you’re doing. I say this with grace, of course. Yes, your parents care, your best friends care, but the people following you on social media? You could stop posting for a while, and most probably wouldn’t even notice.
I remember being in Bali in 2022, feeling lost about my next steps—just like many other 23/24-year-olds. It was then that I asked myself a simple yet powerful question, one I still turn to today:
“What does Jonathan want to do?”
Groundbreaking question, right? But it changed everything. Suddenly, I had a clear sense of purpose for what was next.
The likes, the kudos on Strava, the per kilometer metrics, the car you drive, hitting 100k on Instagram—none of it really matters.
Once I stepped back from all of that, life felt so much better, so much lighter.
Now, I focus on enjoying things for me. Social media? I use it for me. I use it to connect with others, not for validation. If you get 23 likes on a photo of yourself, good for you—but you already knew you looked good, which is why you posted it in the first place.
The Strava kudos?
How many people’s numbers are you really looking at?
No one’s probably looking at your random Tuesday night run either.
